Startups thrive on energy, passion, and vision but even the most driven teams encounter friction. Dr. Gabriele Lang, psychologist and expert in conflict management & collaboration, reveals why early conflicts aren’t a warning sign, they’re a goldmine for growth. By understanding the emotions, stress patterns, and unmet needs behind every tension, founders can turn team challenges into opportunities, make clearer decisions under pressure, and build resilient, high-performing organizations. In her work, Dr. Lang shows that mastering conflict isn’t just a skill, it’s a competitive advantage that fuels creativity, collaboration, and sustainable success.
“Early conflicts aren’t threats—they’re signals. Founders who decode the emotions beneath friction turn tension into clarity, creativity, and strength.”
Many startup founders struggle with team friction—how can they turn early conflicts into opportunities for growth?
Conflicts are not a sign that something is wrong, they’re a sign that something needs attention. In teams, people bring different expectations, stress patterns, and communication habits. Instead of ignoring these moments, founders can use them as an early diagnostic tool: What is the matter? What do we need? Where are our annoyances? What’s unclear about roles, priorities, or responsibilities?
If founders slow down to understand the underlying dynamics, conflicts become catalysts. They reveal the gaps that, if addressed early, prevent costly crises later. What I teach founders is to look behind the words and behaviour: What stress type is showing up? What emotional trigger is activated? What unmet need is driving resistance? Once that is clear, cooperation becomes easier, more effective and the organisation gains stability.
How do you coach founders to make clear decisions under pressure without losing sight of long-term strategy?
Pressure narrows the mind. Under stress, many founders default to urgency instead of strategy. My method helps them first regulate their emotional system, so they regain more calmness and clarity. Then we separate the “noise” from the essential:
What is fact?
What is emotion?
What needs to be under focus?
When they understand their psychological stress patterns, they make decisions that serve growth not panic. And then creativity can grow.
In small teams, personal dynamics can make or break a startup—how do your tools help navigate this challenge?
One conflict can consume up to 50% of a manager’s attention if unresolved and 14% of startups fail due to the wrong team (study from CBInsights).
My targeted help as psychologist and expert in conflict management and collaboration guides founders step-by-step through the psychological layers of difficult conversations: what’s happening emotionally, how to approach different personality types, and how to de-escalate without losing authority.
Only precondition: willingness to take accountability and change. Then I can help founders navigate tense moments before they become team-wide issues.
What’s the most common mistake founders make when trying to implement conflict resolution themselves?
Blind spots and not being able to see where oneself and the different people are contributing to the friction. One example shows that often two team members have an issue and a third person then hops in and tries to solve the issue and just causes a psychodrama.
I help founders identify what’s behind the surface, so they intervene where it matters. At this stage I want to say something very important: stay in communication as the real danger starts when people do not talk to each other anymore, moan behind each other’s back or just throw accusations backwards and forwards. Business then is just like private life!
How can emotional intelligence help founders attract and retain the right talent for their vision?
People join startups for vision when there is a lot of inspiration and drive but then trip over the periods when success has not shown yet but resources like time and money get tight.
Emotionally intelligent founders who self-reflect create clarity around expectations, regulate their own stress and feelings, communicate in ways that are factual despite pressure and give people psychological safety. This creates a safe environment. Talented people want to follow leaders who can navigate tension, offer structure in uncertainty, and stay grounded when pressure rises. EQ is no longer “soft”, it’s a competitive advantage and it saves time, nerves and money.
In your work with startups, what’s a recurring behavioural pattern that hinders progress, and how do you correct it?
A recurring pattern is ignorance of the signs and then treating this with avoidance or accusations of tension, of difficult personalities, of uncomfortable feedback. This drains time, energy, and trust. I help founders break the avoidance cycle with my Impact-Formula by helping them perceive the first signs and addressing issues early. Once they learn to face friction with calmness and clarity, momentum returns.
How do you help entrepreneurs stay resilient and creative when facing repeated setbacks?
Resilience comes from understanding your own stress blueprint and your own hard learning curves. When founders know their stress type, their emotional triggers, and the psychological “why” behind their reactions, they stop wasting energy fighting themselves. I work with them on three levels:
1. Personal competence so pressure doesn’t overwhelm.
2. Social competence so they can understand the opposite and communicate better. 3. Creative competence so they regain the idea flow.
This combination creates the inner stability needed for sustainable success, bold decisions and diving through the valley of death. The time where there is no success yet but lots of hard work.
What’s one principle from psychology that every founder should understand to succeed in scaling their business?
People don’t act on logic first they act on emotion. If you want success, change starts with you personally. Embrace friction, you must understand the emotional landscape. Founders who internalize this principal scale with far fewer human bottlenecks.
How can digital coaching tools complement mentorship and hands-on guidance in early-stage startups?
Real challenges don’t wait for the next coaching session. My digital tools as instant help give founders immediate, guided support exactly when tension arises during conflict, or when making a high-pressure decision.
My digital tools provide real-time clarity and structure and navigate people from a specific problem to solutions, emotionally and rationally with significantly less investment of time and money. A perfect starting point or immediate help 24/7 for more people even when resources are tight. They accelerate growth without increasing costs:
https://upnchange.com/en/digitools/instant-help-for-achieving-your-goals
What advice would you give founders to cultivate a culture where feedback, conflict, and innovation coexist productively?
Create a culture where friction is normal and handled constructively. Set clear expectations that behavioural feedback is part of improvement, not a threat. Teach your team how to communicate under pressure. Allow admitting mistakes safely and address tensions early before they shape the culture.
You cannot avoid friction and challenges, but you can learn to master them. We are on your side: https://upnchange.com/en/
