Patriarchy isn’t just something we encounter in the world around us; it’s a system that seeps into the very fabric of how we think and perceive ourselves. We women, too, carry traces of this system within us, shaping internal voices that critique, judge, or constrain. Often, we disown these patriarchal voices, rejecting them as relics of an outdated system. But as Voice Dialogue and “Everyday Bias” reveal, these voices persist, influencing us in ways we may not realize. Understanding and integrating them—not ignoring them—can set us free from their unseen grip.
The Patriarchal Voice Within
Voice Dialogue teaches that we are made up of many internal “selves” or “voices.” Among them is the patriarchal voice, defined by control, authority, and rigid expectations. For us women, this voice often remains suppressed or unacknowledged because it feels like a betrayal of our values. Yet disowning it doesn’t mean it disappears. Instead, it acts in the shadows, fueling self-criticism, judgment of others, or unquestioned adherence to societal expectations.
Consider how this might show up: the patriarchal voice whispers that our worth is tied to perfection—juggling an impressive career while maintaining a flawless home. It may manifest as an inner critic that questions our worth if we prioritize personal passions over “expected” roles. Or it could diminish our achievements, attributing them to external factors like luck rather than our own hard work and talent.
Biases Born from Patriarchy
Biases, as “Everyday Bias” explains, are mental shortcuts. While not inherently negative, they distort our decisions and perceptions when they operate unconsciously. For us women, patriarchal biases might shape what we believe we “should” do or think about ourselves and others. For instance, we might undervalue our leadership potential or harshly judge another woman for being “too ambitious,” reflecting the conditioning we’ve internalized.
In professional settings, these biases may emerge subtly. We might hesitate to negotiate salaries, feeling we “should be grateful” for what’s offered. Alternatively, we might unconsciously defer to male colleagues, equating authority with their contributions rather than our own.
Disowning the Patriarchal Voice: Why It’s a Problem
Rejecting the patriarchal voice may feel like rebellion, but it often creates internal imbalance. Voice Dialogue emphasizes that every voice, even the uncomfortable ones, has value. The patriarchal voice can bring discipline, structure, and focus—qualities that, when embraced consciously, help us thrive. Ignoring it entirely may lead to its unhealthy expression, such as relentless perfectionism or a self-critical inner monologue.
For instance, a woman who disowns authority figures might find herself unintentionally adopting authoritarian traits in her leadership style—replicating the very dynamics she seeks to reject.
Bringing Biases Into the Light
Uncovering biases is the key to dissolving their power. As “Everyday Bias” illustrates, biases thrive in the dark but lose their grip in the light of awareness. The same goes for the patriarchal voice. Acknowledging its presence doesn’t mean validating oppressive systems; it means understanding how these patterns shape us, allowing us to make deliberate, empowered choices.
Imagine noticing when you’re overly self-critical or judging others. Instead of acting on those impulses, you pause, reflect, and choose a more compassionate path. Or perhaps you recognize societal expectations pressing in on you and decide whether they align with your true values.
The Path to Liberation: Integration, Not Rejection
Liberation comes from integration, not eradication. By acknowledging the patriarchal voice as part of our internal landscape, we can work with it, drawing on its strengths while balancing it with empathy and authenticity. Here’s how:
- Awareness: Recognize when the patriarchal voice is speaking.
- Dialogue: Engage with this voice through reflective practices like journaling or Voice Dialogue sessions to understand its fears and intentions.
- Integration: Harness the positive aspects—clarity, structure, focus—while tempering them with compassion and creativity.
For example, we women might channel the patriarchal voice’s discipline to pursue goals while balancing it with self-care and authenticity.
Conclusion
We women are not immune to patriarchy’s influence, but we have the unique power to transform it from within. Recognizing and working with the patriarchal voice doesn’t mean letting it control us—it means freeing ourselves from its unconscious grip. By bringing these biases into the light, we strip them of their power, creating space for new, empowering narratives.
This isn’t just personal liberation; it’s a collective shift. When we learn to embrace the patriarchal voice consciously, we reclaim our agency and open doors to a more balanced and inclusive world.
